Meme - and more

I'm taking on Cinn's challenge. I kind of like the idea of a marriage contract that runs for a limited period of time. Just because you've been together for a while, you shouldn't assume it will last forever.

The rules of this particular Meme are that you have to list 8 traits about your perfect partner, and have to tell if they are male or female.

a - preferred partner is female

1. loves self - you can't love others if .....
2. loves me - duh
3. independent - I can do almost anything in the house or out - expect the same from my partner
4. attractive and sexual- duh - better think I'm ok in these departments too!
5. trusting - I will believe in you until you prove me wrong; I expect the same. However, once trust is broken, good bye!
6. reliable - NO, 30 minutes late is not acceptable - NO, spending $5K on furniture (without discussion) ...
7. no games - together we can do anything; games will keep us from being effective.
8. optimistic - Thanks, Cinn. My MIL, who just passed away, was "an unhappy person". It was catching; her daughter caught it. Very, very sad! However when we are away from the family stuff, she becomes more optimistic. Love it! So we have to go away ;) ....

BTW, my wife is a 95%er here. She had 100% going up to number 8 and if we are off traveling she gets a 100. Lucky me!

Prepared meat for jerky today. I buy the cheapest round or London broil or whatever that I can find; so long as there is almost no fat. Originally jerky was made from wild meat, like venison. It is naturally very lean. The fat will spoil and taint the jerky. I'm trying to find a beef cut that is almost that lean. I cut it thin (1/16th inch or less) and marinate overnight. The marinade came off the net then got modified to suit my 'customers'. Now it is: 1/4 cp soy sauce, 1/2 cp worchestershire, 2 T red pepper flakes, 1 t onion powder, 1/2 t garlic powder, 1 t liquid smoke. Marinate overnight in a freezer bag with all the air pressed out. If I can I like to massage the mass a couple of times to redistribute the marinade/meat mixture. Tomorrow I'll put it on the dehydrator for 5 to 7 hours. (Dehydrator being a cheap $40 version with really NASTY broken plastic trays!)

Dinner tonight was steak, potato, corn. BBQ steak with special soy-worchestershire-garlic marinade; nuke a baker (dull and not very good but quick); warm canned corn spiked with pepper & a little butter. Pretty dull stuff but easy.

Sunny Florida

This is generally the dry, comfortable season in Florida. Highs are in the 70's; lows in the 50's. We get rain once every couple of weeks. At least that is the hope! So far this year has been quite nice and that equates to using the bbq! If our bbq isn't used 50 weeks a year I'd be surprised. The other day was salmon.

We get farm raised Atlantic salmon here; mostly filets rather than steaks. A normal size filet runs about 3 lbs. It seems to have more oil than the Pacific salmons but we managed to choke it down. We marinate it in a little lemon juice and olive oil. Sprinkle on some lemon pepper, salt, regular pepper, perhaps some herbs and let it sit for 15 or 20 minutes.

When I cook it I do something that will definitely piss off real cooks: I put the salmon skin side down on a piece of foil on the bbq. It slows the cooking but the skin sticks to the foil. To release it I slide a knife under the fish and leave both foil and skin to be disposed of later. The salmon is lovely eaten immediately or later. Which is what brought this post to mind: dinner tonight was salmon salad. Yum!

Hope you all had something as fine.

A New Era

A new era in our lives began today at about 14:45 EST. My mother in law, one of the reasons we moved here, died. She died while we were visiting her along with her last surviving sister and one of the sister's children. The people at the home were just great; the LPN had only been there as an LPN for 4 months as was nearly as affected as we. Anyway, now we have no reason not to move on. Whether we sell this house or stay; whether we travel the US or not; whether we move to Europe or not: now we have only children and cousins to consider and, while they are important, we don't feel the need to stay here for them.

I read of a healing mantra that one could say on New Year's Eve in which one forgave all of one's enemies. I am happy to say that I couldn't think of a single person that I was so angry with that I felt the need to exercise the mantra. I am not sure why this is so; perhaps it is a result of a retirement in which I feel no need to associate with persons who make me angry. More likely it is a result of a temporary lull in relations with people. Whatever, I am thankful for it and wish that everyone may find themselves in this happy state on the next New Year's Eve. If not, I hope you may try the mantra, or something similiar, and forgive and forget the wrongs you have been done. In any event, Happy New Year!

Wow! A month later.....

It seems that I've let time get away without writing. Well, the holidays are fun for everyone, aren't they!

The good news is that we survived them all pretty much without injury.

Let's see: Xmas eve was the traditional (for us) enchilladas for my wife's aunt & uncle, our daughter and her friend. At the last minute the daughter decided to go home rather than stay the night, it's only about 25 miles to her place so it was no big deal. I think she had forgotten how dull a bunch of full, sleepy, middle-aged people can be. Unfortunately, as it turns out, her friend didn't want to go do anything exciting either so she was stuck with her cat. Now that's life in the fast lane!

Xmas was fine. The kid was back at 08:30 so she wouldn't miss any presents. We opened stuff to and from the people who were here (aunt, uncle, daughter, wife & me). Then she and I went & got my MIL from the nursing home. They got in an argument during the 15 minute ride home but that isn't news. The daughter doesn't like seeing her Grandmother old and infirm. It makes her act badly; as though she were a kid rather than a 35 year old woman. Anyway, we finally got here, opened presents to and from the MIL. She buys these stupid, tv-ad type presents & everyone has to say 'oh, gee, just what I always wanted'. And, of course, she hates everything that anyone buys for her: too heavy; too light; too big; useless. She is quite the piece of work! Dinner was prime rib, potatoes, vegie, salad. The meat was good; should be at that price but you always worry. I even ate all mine and I'm not much of a fan. Then we took the MIL back to the home & everyone else left. The wife let the tension out by getting completely drunk between the time I left and the time I got back; 40 minutes at most. It was pretty impressive actually. It's one thing to drink for hours and hours but to go from 2 glasses of wine with dinner to drunk in 40 minutes; it takes talent! But what the hell, it's Xmas.

New Year's Eve is a time that my wife and I reserve for just us. We talked a lot about what the future may bring. We'll be selling the duplex we bought as a residence for the MIL. We may leave Florida but since we don't have any place that we really prefer we may not. Decisive, huh? Filet & salad and cab for dinner.

New Year's Day we did ham, mac & cheese, vegie, etc for ourselves and the MIL. Daughter was invited but thought she would rather have a quiet day alone. We didn't push it because we didn't really want to have just the two of them as guests. It worked out well. Extra attention for the MIL always works for her! We always make Hoppin John for New Years. Having it on New Year's Day is supposed to bring you luck for the entire year. It is a Southern tradition that we strangers have adopted. It is rice & blackeyed peas cooked with ham hock, ham, red pepper flakes, etc. Very nice comfort food whether it brings luck or not.

So that's our holiday report. No big changes but some gradual movements.

1. The daughter is going to try to get away from her 'friend' since they don't really get along that well. Theirs has been a friendship of convenience since they lived next door to one another for almost five years. Now she has moved and, hopefully, can find other people to have fun with.

2. The MIL seems to be settling into the nursing home though she steadfastly refuses to have anything to do with the social side of the place and simply stays in her bed all day. She is probably declining but it is imperceptable to me.

3. We are going to clean up and sell the duplex. No hurry but it will be great to be free of it. Not to mention the cash will be a welcome addition to the old bank account!

I'll try to do this again before the month is out! Not a resolution but... a hope.

Things aren't bad...

Most of our intellectual and spiritual energy these days is directed towards helping my MIL who just moved to a nursing home. She is 88 and has osteoporosis and COPD - a lousy combination. (She as already told the hospice social worker that she'd like to die before Xmas!)

The good news is that she likes the nursing home. It isn't perfect but the people are nice and the food is good. Those are two really important things! And we agree! The nurses and other staff seem really nice. I sure couldn't do their job but they seem to be fine helping all those folks who cannot help themselves. I really admire the job they do. The cooks, hidden away in the bowels of the facility, also seem to be doing a great job. Every meal I've seen has been appetizing looking, smelled good and the MIL likes them too. What's not to like?

Tomorrow we have a 'Care Plan Meeting' when we get to talk about how things are supposed to work. Things like: comfort; not overdosing on drugs; usage of the electric wheelchair; leaving the facility and tons of more stuff. The nursing home is a cross between a hospital, a jail and a home. It's a tough act to get right but we are trying. Here's hoping for the best.

All I have to say is that this isn't the retirement I was looking forward to!

BTW - Happy Pearl Harbor Day to anyone who remembers!

Another Sad Day!

We had another sad week here. Last Wednesday we found a bed in a nursing home for my mother-in-law. It is something she certainly didn't want and we didn't want for her but her increasingly serious illness made necessary. Finally, early this week, she decided that she would be better off in a nursing home. She began telling us that when she woke up it was more difficult for her to breath; she was frightened; and it became even more difficult to breath. We learned that all this is typical of the disease. (She has COPD - Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease - and isn't going to get better.) Then when she said she really wanted to be someplace where she could receive care around the clock, we had to act. We went looking for a bed in a facility that was relatively close to our home so we can spend more time with her. Much to our amazement, we found a place in the fourth place we visited! It is a nice place, clean and well rated. We like the people we have met there. She will be well cared for by them. But it is an institution and that's sad.

Hope you had a good week!

Thanksgiving Report

Well, Happy Late Thanksgiving to all. We had a very good one and hope everyone else did as well.

Daughter and her friend (male) brought the MIL. It must have been lots of fun: 3 people (him pretty large), wheelchair, 2 large oxygen bottles and a small bottle, some garlic dip, etc. all in a Ford Escort. We were waiting, all prepared with at least 2 minutes to spare! Yes, procrastination, thy name is Don.

Anyway, the MIL was installed in her wheelchair next to the table with the goodies and we talked a bit while waiting for Mr. Turkey to come out of the oven. Finally, he came out, the last minute things were prepared, I carved and we ate. Everything was pretty traditional and good. Most years my wife likes to try out some new recipe but this year I managed to get her to go simple. It was a very good choice and everything was delicious. Hopefully THAT is the start of a tradition! The wine was better than we expected and the male friend offered a toast to our daughter honoring her professional achievements in the last year. This guy isn't always that nice to the daughter so this was an excellent surprise. The MIL was really tired by the time we finished dinner so the whole lot loaded back into the Escort and went home by 16:00.

That gave us time to finish the open wine and call the appropriate relatives. Very, very nice. Once again, hope everyone had a great one!

Weekend

Had a good weekend. Some relatives who have an acreage keep our trailer on their property. This weekend they needed to take down a tree that had died. The problem was that when it came down, it needed to be across the road in front of their house. The good news is that it is a very quiet road but still it needed to be cleared as quickly as possible. So, we volunteered to help clean up the mess.

We went up on Friday afternoon, got set up in the trailer and took them out to dinner. Saturday morning the guy, my wife and myself went out to bring down the tree. His wife ACTUALLY went shopping! Couldn't believe it but there it was. Outside = his problem. Well, actually, it doesn't bother me since they seem to have a good relationship. It isn't what I want but what the hell: different drummers and all that.

We got the tree down and cleared in about three hours. He cut the tree down then removed limbs. I spent the entire time picking up limbs and carting them to the burn pile. My wife worked as hard as anyone. She used our electric chain saw to remove limbs part of the time and dragged limbs to the burn pile when she wanted a break. She was very proud of her work as was I. Here is this mid-50's woman, an ex-middle manager in a technical field, working as hard as any field hand. She did great.

We slept well that night! And came home today after a leisurely breakfast. What's not to like! Well, no nookie, but I don't need to set up a counter either. ;)

Bodies

Today we went to an exhibit at the Tampa Museum of Science and Industry called Bodies. It is a facinating look at real human bodies. These people (they were all Chinese) died then the soft coverings of fat and tissue were removed then muscles, nerves, etc. were replaced with a polymer substance. You end up with a skeleton with, for example, the muscles shown. Each muscle of the leg is seen, where it attaches to the bone, where it attaches to the next bone.

On another body they had nerve fibers illustrated, on another the blood vessels. I said the fat and tissue were removed but that isn't strictly correct. They left skin where it helped illustrate something or make the display more human. For example, the head might have the skin on the left side then the nerves exposed on the left. Most of the bodies were male and the penis and the testicles were intact; it gave the teenagers who were visiting something to titter over. There were a few female bodies including one who had had breast cancer that was untreated. Yuck! I never knew what that would look like; now I know I don't like it. It was rather like a mole only it covered an area 8 inches by 12 inches and was 2 or 3 inches deep. Nasty!

Lungs were displayed, livers, the stomach, pretty much everything you can imagine. In some cases both normal and diseased organs were shown. Smoker's lungs, diseased livers, and gallstones were just some of the fun stuff. It was a very good, interesting and instructive show. Highly recommended if it comes to your area. Wish I could post a sample but I'm not that good a blogger! Email me if you'd like to see the advertising poster or check the museum's web site http://www.mosi.org/

Have a good one!

Nothing much....

I'm being pretty dull lately. Haven't updated this blog in 10 days or so. Somehow I've always got things to do; funny how that works.

My wife and I decided that it is time to diet and started yesterday. For me, dieting means smaller portions, fewer snacks and a lot less booze. It always leads to a big rant when we diet together because I lose more weight. It isn't a mystery to anyone but her: I exercise and she doesn't. I walk the dog for half an hour then do another half hour on the treadmill. That makes a big difference. But it isn't easy to get started on an exercise routine, I know that. When I was younger I could stop exercising for a month then start right up where I left off. Now, first of all it is much harder to get started again and secondly I have to go back to lighter weights and shorter durations or I'll pull something then HAVE to stop again. Well, at least I CAN exercise. There is so much pain in the world lately, hurricanes, earthquakes, tsunami - you name it. It makes you want to just be thankful if you still have your family and friends.

The election in California was interesting. Here is a state that is way deep in debt and the people are simply refusing to stop spending. Of course the measures were going to cause pain to most all of the people who work for the state and all those who receive state assistance so I guess it shouldn't be too surprising that they lost. They may well be a majority! One thing I haven't seen so far is anything about the turnout. The number of people who can control an election is surprisingly small if you do the calculations, I hope that isn't what happened in this case. And I'm also hoping that somehow the state can turn itself around and not start defaulting on their loans!

France is also in pain. Night after night of violence caused by the pain and frustration of being second class, unemployed citizens is easy for me to understand. The social safety net of monetary and medical benefits keeps people from starving (in most cases) but you pay for those things with a lost of pride and self-esteem. I've been without a job and I sure didn't like it. Even a crapy job is better than none and in France unemployment is huge, over 10% of the population by US State Dept. estimate. (An aside. In Freakonomics the argument was made that inner city dope dealers don't even make enough money to live on but they want to do it because it is a possible escape from a place where there are no other jobs.) Here is another problem where I certainly don't see any easy fix. The traditional politician would try to turn the peoples attention outward and attack another country. Let's hope that doesn't come to pass here!

Well, hope I made your day cheerier but I bet I didn't. (Sorry about that!)

Bah Humbug!

Another wonderful day in the neighborhood. Well, actually it was fine. Wifie spent the day doing stuff on Quicken. I surfed more than my fair share but I also did some investment stuff, went to the store & got stuff for dinner, vacuumed the house and did most of 3 loads of clothes (wifie did take some stuff out of one load of the dryer). We shared doing dinner. It was much better than yesterday.

I'm not going to make this into a rant about my wife because it is as much my fault as hers. Sometimes we start drinking wine and just don't stop in time. We are both very responsible and somehow manage to take care of our obligations but there are other times when we drink to excess. Yesterday was one of those times. After a productive morning, we went out by the pool at lunch and got blitzed. That was just what happened. Then, after a short nap, life resumed. It bothers us both but it keeps us sane and keeps us going.

Life in the fast lane, huh!

Good bye Wilma!

The Tampa Bay area was lucky again and Wilma went down and hurt folks in South Florida. Thanks, Cinn, for your good thoughts. It makes you feel a little guilty at your good luck when the hurricane goes and hurts others. The disaster relief donations must be getting tough to get. It seems like the whole summer has been one thing after another. (Yes, it's still summer down here!) One of my neighbors is a cop and he is going down south to help with the policing effort. After all, the cops down there have families to care for just like everyone else.

We are having a lot of trouble dealing with my mother-in-laws illness. Last December she was still driving around in her little truck, going to bingo and the dog track. Now she is on 5 liters of oxygen, has 8 or 10 prescriptions including 2 for pain relief, and has hospice coming to see her almost every day. She is considering quitting taking the newspaper because the Sunday paper is too heavy for her to lift! She and my wife are both depressed and, of course, it is catching just like the flu. I spend more and more time on the net escaping. I'm hoping that the hospice councilor can help with the depression. For me, I'm going to go exercise. That always makes me feel better.

Have a good one!

All the news that's fit to print

Well, hell! I'm not sure how to say this so I'm just going to dump it out here. Yesterday my wife took her mother to the doctor and after hearing about her condition he said he was ready to write her a prescription for Hospice care. This is the pulmonary specialist that she's been seeing for about a year. He's the one who put her on oxygen; he's the one who has been boosting the amount of oxygen that she gets from the machine; he's completely familiar with her case and is basically saying he's done all he can so now she is beyond further assistance.

We just didn't know what to say; either my wife at the doctor's office or me when she told me about it. We were certainly flabbergasted. Speechless, in fact. If you aren't familiar with Hospice, it is an organization that provides comfort to those who are considered terminally ill. Usually Hospice gets involved when the person is considered to have six months to live. That is the idea anyway. They got involved with my mother when she suddenly lost 10 pounds in a week. She then continued to live for another two and a half years. But they did contribute substantially to her comfort. They have special chairs for the wheel chair bound; beds; lots of equipment; but also counselors to assist the patient and the patient's family and even some medical assistants to, say, give the patient a massage.

In this case, the doctor was not saying that he believes the MIL is going to die in six months but rather that there is nothing more he can do to help her so having help to be comfortable in her own home is the best that can be done for her. Like many elderly people, she has a whole raft of illnesses, COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease) and severe osteoporosis being a couple of the more serious. She is getting to the point that drugs used to treat one condition aggravate a different one. Not a good situation.

So anyway, within a month of my mother's death, my MIL is a candidate for Hospice. Could be an interesting year!

Asian Disaster

Today the news just keeps getting worse about the number of people killed in the earthquake in Pakistan. It makes our losses to Katrina and Rita seem small. Not that any loss of life is insignificant but 20,000 people! What a tragedy. Time to find more money for the Red Cross or some other relief effort.

All my good wishes and hopes go out to those poor people on this awful day.

New Game

Heard of a new email tagging game today. Here's the email you receive: "Describe me in one word - just one.
Send it to me (only me), then forward this email to your friends and see how many strange things people think about you."

It's tough to describe someone in one word but kind of fun. Most of my life has been spent trying to think of MORE words to describe something. Adding MORE words to help reduce confusion and misunderstanding. Sometimes adding MORE just for it's own sake (unfortunately)! Needless to say I don't write haiku.

Things are a little tense around here because my wife is having a little trouble and will have a test on Friday. The doctor fears she might be afflicted with hemochromatosis. To quote from www.irondisorders.org; "hemochromatosis is an inherited condition of abnormal iron metabolism; it is not a blood disease. Individuals with hemochromatosis absorb too much iron from the diet. Iron cannot be excreted therefore the metal can reach toxic levels in tissues of major organs such as the liver, heart, pituitary, thyroid, pancreas, and synovium (joints)." Needless to say, we are hoping that she doesn't have the disorder. Maybe next week we'll get some good news and can relax!

Later!

Another day

Turned 57 yesterday. Not much of a milestone but they can't all be great. Anyway, this one really turned out great. My wife, Judie, got me a Canon PowerShot S2! A great gift; just what I wanted. Now I have to read all 100 pages of the instruction manual to figure the thing out. (Yes, I really am male and, yes, I'm reading the manual. Yeah, I know it's hard to believe.) Anyway, I'm looking forward to more photographic adventures.

We had 2 couples over for dinner; both brought me booze. Must be my reputation. Anyway we had a good time. Everyone got a little sloshed and went home early; today being Monday.

Daughter is coming for her cat. The cat has been a real pleasure unlike my fears. It has hidden under a bed for most of it's visit but when you go in and play with it it's great. Very friendly and trusting. Nothing at all like her last cat which would walk across the room specifically to hit you with her claws. Guess we will have more cat sitting jobs in the future.

A quiet day; and we need a few after the last month. Wishing the same to all!

More fun; no really!

Just before we left on our trip to Iowa the guys came to start the refinishing of our pool and deck. After a few years the old marsite pool finish was dying and we've hated the deck surface since we bought the house. Anyway, they said it would take the best part of the week to get the old deck surface off so we thought why not let them do it while we were gone. Well, it worked just fine.

Except that they didn't get it off! They were still working on it 9 calendar days after they started. The tile guys did come and put in part of the tile. Except that they put in the wrong tile and had to take it off again! Now they have replaced the cap tile and the deck guys have about half of the deck base coated. This is in the two weeks that we were quoted for the entire job. No one has touched the pool except to knock off some loose stuff. Hmmm. Wifie is getting aggrevated. Personally, I never believe a timeline given me by a salesman. Hah! I've been there; I've done that. Project estimates are always optimistic. These guys at least can claim that the weather on the edge of Hurricane Rita is slowing them down. And it's probably true. Anyway, if we get a properly completed pool in another two weeks, I'll be happy.

Today we went down to see the MIL. She got a new Medicade funded electric wheel chair today. She doesn't creak around very well any more and needs oxygen all the time and, well, you get the idea. Anyway, our government just paid over $4 grand for the wheelchair. It's great fun to drive; we all had a turn. Now if the MIL can just use it without pitching herself out onto the street in front of a car!

Tomorrow our daughter is coming over with her cat. She is off on a business trip and somehow we came to be the cat sitters. The fact that we've only seen this cat once in it's entire life is apparently irrelevent. And it has all it's claws. And it is 'frisky'. And - you know, I'm getting really negative here so I'll stop. I'm sure you'll hear more about the cat later.

Have a good one!

Home Again

Home looks pretty good after a week on the road!

After mom passed away we had a couple of days of running around getting things settled here then needed to go up to Iowa for the funeral. We thought of flying but decided to drive mostly because of the lack of hassle. People who travel between, say Seattle and Chicago, just hop on a plane. People who want to go to small towns in Iowa have at least 2 flights plus a rental car to consider. And considering the 'Bereavement Fare' isn't much of a deal; it makes driving sound better.

The actual funeral was excellent. It couldn't have gone better. We were concerned that mother might not look good but it turned out that she looked great. I don't know why it seemed important; it just did. Anyway, we were able to have the casket open. Mother had nieces and nephews in a three or four state area and many showed up. There were even a few folks from the local area who took the time to attend. We had a simple grave side service then went to a local restaurant to have coffee & cake. I got to talk with my cousins, one of whom said he last saw me when he fed me at age 1! Close family, huh? Anyway, the whole thing was excellent.

Driving home we came across something I've never seen before. It was a foggy morning just south of Nashville when we saw a car going the wrong way on I-24! He was going north in the southbound HOV lane. Scary! Fortunately, the HOV lane isn't much used that far out of town so he would have had a fair amount of time to figure out the error of his ways!

Now, having been home for a week, we are almost squared away. I'll try to add more of our adventures later.

RIP

We got the call at 04:30 that my mother had died a few minutes earlier. She had a quiet and peaceful end. She was 93 and had been struggling with dementia for the last nine years. It's been several years since she has recognized either me or my wife. She is certainly in a better place now. We'll be off to Iowa tomorrow for the funeral.

Oh Shit!

Well, just after I talk about my mom being stable; she de-stablizes.

Since last Wednesday she has had only 450 cc of fluid. Apparently she has forgotten how to swallow. The aide spoons some honey-thick-liquid (food substitute) into her mouth then has to take it out again in a minute or two. She doesn't swallow it at all. With liquids it is slightly easier: it just drips out of the side of her mouth if she doesn't swallow it first. At this rate, she cannot last more than 3 or 4 weeks.

I'm getting ready to call the few family members are still alive to let them know that there may be a funeral soon. Happy days!